How to find happiness by not giving a f*ck

Issue 13

You can’t get away from it. This book has sold 15+ million copies and is everywhere: At airports, on the London underground, and on the top of bestseller lists.

At first, I refused to go near the obnoxious-looking book because of its “clickbaity” title and bright orange cover. 

I mean, would you trust an author who so blatantly wants to generate book sales? 

Then I heard him interviewed on the Tim Ferriss podcast and discovered Mark Manson has been an established blogger and thinker for 12+ years.

This guy is the real deal.

So, I decided to give the book a go. And to say I was pleasantly surprised would be an understatement.

The premise of the book is that happiness comes from solving your own problems.

It’s classic hero’s journey thinking. You, the protagonist will face multiple obstacles in your life. And by overcoming each one, you get ever closer to your life’s purpose while gaining both resilience and happiness. 

True happiness occurs only when you find the problems you enjoy having and enjoy solving.

— Mark Manson

At its core, the book is a roadmap to happiness.

You’ve heard a lot of the principles before, but it’s a much-needed reminder of what’s most important in life when death is the only thing that’s certain.

Here are my 8 takeaways:

1. Prioritise your values

Identify and focus on what truly matters to you. Don't waste time and energy on things that don't align with your core beliefs.

2. Embrace negative emotions

Discomfort is a part of life. Learn to tolerate it instead of constantly trying to avoid it. Negative emotions can teach us our most valuable lessons.

3. Stop comparing yourself to others

Everyone's journey is unique, and comparing yourself to others will only lead to feelings of inadequacy and dissatisfaction.

4. Set boundaries and learn to say no

Don’t overextend yourself to please others. Practice saying no to things that don't align with your values or that don't bring you joy.

5. Take the blame for your situation

Take responsibility for your actions and the consequences that come with them. Don't blame others or make excuses for the position you’re in.

6. Stop seeking validation from others

Your self-worth should come from within and not depend on external validation. Practice gratitude. Learn to be content with what you have.

7. Don’t try to please everyone

It's impossible to keep everyone happy. And your attempts to do so will only lead to disappointment and frustration.

8. Get comfortable with uncertainty

Accept that life is uncertain and that change is inevitable. Learn to adapt and roll with the punches instead of always trying to control it.

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My 6 favourite quotes from the book:

1. Self-improvement is about prioritising better values, choosing better things to give a f*ck about. Because when you give better f*cks, you get better problems. And when you get better problems, you get a better life.

2. Emotions are simply biological signals designed to nudge you in the direction of beneficial change.

3. We all get dealt cards. Some of us get better cards than others. And while it’s easy to get hung up on our cards, the real game lies in the choices we make with those cards.

4. Certainty is the enemy of growth. Nothing is for certain until it has already happened—and even then, it’s still debatable.

5. We can be truly successful only at something we’re willing to fail at. If we’re unwilling to fail, then we’re unwilling to succeed.

6. We are defined by what we choose to reject. And if we reject nothing (perhaps in fear of being rejected by something ourselves), we essentially have no identity at all.

Have you read the book? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Until next time. ✌️

— GH

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